Euphoria Of Life

2006-10-05T12:24:00.000+08:00

Bye World.

X)

2006-10-05T01:16:00.000+08:00

I feel I need a change.

A change is comin..

People..

Can you feel it...?

2006-10-03T22:43:00.000+08:00

Soccer training last friday was okay.

For the first part.

But during that trainig match, It got me really frustrated.

I guess I expected much more. But perhaps I am expecting too much out of nothing and it makes me frustrated. There was no link up, heck, even holding on to the ball was a problem. Atleast the B team manage to hold on to a draw though we were much overpowered and even though it was a training match, it was a sign of things to come.

And after hearing rave reviews about Naga, I suppose, I had my doubts answered.

So I guess the first 11 are prety much made up. My mind is almost made up.

4-5-1.
4-4-1-1

I guess we'll see how it goes. =)

I am excited of the prospect of playing CADC all over again. Only this time round, we'll see who get's hurt. =)
-

I'm here for all the world to see,
At least the outward parts of me,
But only the traits I wish to show
Will be the one's you’ll get to know.

Some characteristics, I will hide,
To most the truth I wont provide
With what I think and truly feel,
To the world, my outward shell is real.

The deception goes on year by year,
The real me hidden by the fear
Of being judged or criticized
Or how I'm seen through other's eyes.

Life's masquerade is just a shame,
To follow rules and play the game
To live a life behind the wall
Is to regret a life not lived at all.

-Rafhan

2006-10-01T00:09:00.000+08:00

1. You grew up watching He-man, MASK,
Transformers, Silver Hawk and Mickey Mouse. Not to forget, Ninja turtles, My Little Pony and Smurfs too.

2. You grew up brushing your teeth with a mug in Primary school during recess time. You will squat by a drain
with all your
classmates beside you, and brush your teeth
with a coloured mug.The
teachers
said you must brush each side 10 times too.

3. You know what SBC stands for.

4. You pay 40 cents
for Chocolate or Strawberry
MILK every week in
class.

5. You watch a very popular Malay dubbed
Japanese drama on RTM1
about schoolgirls who possess powerful skills in
volleyball called
Meoro Attack.

6. You find your friends with pagers and
handphone cool in
Secondary school.

7. SBS buses used to be non-airconditioned.
The bus seats are made
of wood and the cushion is red. The big red bell
gives a loud BEEP!
when pressed. There are colourful tickets
forTIBS buses.The
conductor
will check for tickets by using a machine which
punches a hole in
the ticket.

8. Envelopes given to us
to donate to Sharity
Elephant every
Children's Day.

9. You've probably read Young Generation
magazine.You know who's
Vinny the little vampire and Acai the constable.

10. You were there when they first introduced
MRT here. You went
for the first ride with your parents and you would
kneel on the
seat to see the scenery.

11. Movie tickets used to cost only $3.50.

12. Gals are fascinated by Strawberry Short
Cake and Barbie Dolls.

13. You learn to laugh like The Count in
Sesame Street.

14. You longed to buy tibits called Kaka (20
cents per pack), and
Ding Dang (50 cents per box), that had
a toy in
it and it changes
every week
not forgetting the 15 cents animal crackers and
the ring pop, where
the lollipop is the diamond on the ring.

15. You watched TV2 (also known as Channel
10) cartoons because
Channel 5 never had enough cartoons for you.

16. Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, The Three
Investigators, Famous Five
and Secret Seven are probably the thickest
story books you ever
thought you have read. Even Sweet Valley High
and Malory Towers.

17. KFC used to be a high class restaurant that
serve food in
plates and let you use metal forks and knives.

19. Catching was the IN thing and twist as the
magic word.

20. Your English workbooks was made of some
damn poor quality paper
that was smooth and yellow.

21. CDIS were your bestfriend.

22. The only computer lessons in school
involved funny pixellised
characters in 16 colours walking about trying to
teach you maths.

23. Waterbottles were slinged around your neck
and a must
everywhere you go.

24. Boys loved to play soccer with small plastic
balls in the
basketball
court.

25. Teng-teng, five stones, chapteh, hentam
bola and zero point
were all the rage with the girls and boys too...

26. Science was fun with the balsam and the
angsana being the most
important plants of our lives, guppies and
swordtail being the most
important fish.

27. Who can forget Ahmad, Bala, Sumei and
John, eternalized in our
minds from the textbooks. Even Mr Wally & Mr.
Yakki. What abt Miss
Lala??? And Zaki and Tini in Malay Textbooks?

28. We carry out experiments of our own to get
ourself badges for
being a Young Zoologist/Botanist etc.

29. Every Children's day and National day
you
either get pins or
pens with 'Happy Children's Day 1993' or dumb
files with 'Happy
National Day 1994'.

30. In Primary six you had to play buddy for the
younger kids like
big sister and brother.

31. We wear BM2000, BATA, or Pallas shoes.

32. Your form teacher taught you Maths,
Science and English.

33. The worksheets were made of brown rough
paper of poor quality.

34. You went to school in slippers and a
raincoat when it rained,
and you find a dry spot in the school to sit
down, dry your feet,
and wear your
dry and warm socks and shoes.

35. School dismissal time was
normally around
1 pm.

36. There would be spelling tests and mental
sums to do almost
everyday.

37. Your friends considered you lucky and rich if
your parents gave
you $3 or more for pocket money everyday.

38. You see Wee Kim Wee's face in the school
hall.

39. You freak out when the teacher tells you to
line up according
to height and hold hands with the corresponding
boy or girl.

40. Boys like to catch fighting spiders.

41. Collecting and battling erasers was a
pastime for boys.

42. Autograph books were loaded with "Best
Wishes", "Forget Me
Not", and small
poems like "Bird fly high, hard
to catch.Friend
like you, hard to forget".

43. Class monitors and prefects loved to
say "You talk somemore, I
write your name ah!"

44. There were at least 40 people in one class.

45. Large, colourful schoolbags were carried.

50. You brought every single book to school,
even though there was
one thing called the timetable.

-

Smiled after reading all that. =) I guess it does seem innocent and pure, how last time we were so appreciative of every single thing. And look what we had become. Materialistic bastards and pigs. Sigh. I wish I could go back in time.

Remember the days when you told your mummy that you wished you were a grown up and they would tell you they wished they were you and you would be left in confusion.. Well, I guess now we know huh.. So perhaps when the next time our child asks, we know how to answer. ;)

2006-09-29T05:26:00.000+08:00

SO..

FINALLY my fyp could get started!

It's shit that I am so motivated to do but the company never replied! Only yesterday that we found out that the person went for reservist! That's why he couldn't replied! And i had used 4 exclaimation marks by the end of this paragraph! Hahahaha.

-

so come home with me tonight.
we'll wait till dark turns light.

i'm lost in thoughts.

2006-09-26T23:07:00.000+08:00

It sucks balls when you're so hyped up on something then it just comes along and dissapoints you.

Like my FYP. I am like so motivated to do it... THEN.. The comp decides not return our calls and our emails!

Like WTF!

And being sick among all these is not helping! Getting cranky and irritated at any thing.

Like people not replying my msges and stuff! I get so fucking irritated that I just hate that person there and then.. But afterwards i get ok again!

Weird... But fuck it.

-

2006-09-25T22:14:00.001+08:00

It sucks balls when you're fasting and you're sick to the bones.

Maybe the soccer match on the first day was a BIG mistake afterall..

Shiats!

-

A nice song. Powerful vocals. =)

-

2006-09-25T00:13:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I want to do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

-

Emoshit and all that jazz

2006-09-24T22:09:00.000+08:00

So yea.. Some of the photos from the LTC!

Lazy ar to place all the photos..

But memories of yesterdays shall be kept in a suitcase.

=)

2006-09-24T21:42:00.000+08:00

2006-09-24T05:59:00.000+08:00

More updates on LTC trip later..

Now I just feel like ranting on random stuff..

Haha...

Fasting month has come again!

I love it when it is fasting month.. The month just has the different feel to it.. In fact every fasting month has a different feel to it..

And it's always a challenge for me.. Coz I always do alot of physical activities during the fasting month..

=) Let's hope I don't die yet.. Wahaks!

-

The only reason that I know, is cause my powers of assumption overruns my sense of nomalcy. And usually, my assumptions is true. So hiding it is of no valid point.

2006-09-24T02:00:00.000+08:00

LTC Redang was a blast.

But I got home to face the reality.

But the short escape from the real world is nice.

I was welcomed with overwhelming shit.

This shit is bananas.

2006-09-19T22:27:00.000+08:00

It sucks when you:

Have money
Know what you want to buy i.e. bag or cap
Can't seem to find the one you like...EVEn though you had already intended to buy that thing a month back.

But hell... I guess it does suck both ways.. When you have no money and you have money but dunno what to spend on..

Or perhaps I am just too picky..?

-

A dance with a mop.

A dance with a mop.
A dance that shall never be unanswered.
Like the passing wind that refreshens her,
Each step is just perfect and unwavering.

A dance with a mop.
Oh, Those were the days when she danced in her own deep reverie.
Like those big wide fields, filled with prairies.
But alas, Life has turned it's ugly head on her.

Reality Sunk.
And alone in the dark corner,
her mop stood,musty,wet and unnoticed.

It had seen better days.
But her indifference had made it long forgotten.
The beauty of the dance marred by the angsty feelings.
A dance that has turned sour.

But nevertheless, if her sink fills with teardrops,
In that dark corner, a long haired friend,
waits patiently for another turn.
Always ready to dance on the floor,
And help forget the melacholic troubles of her world.

- Rafhan

2006-09-19T01:42:00.000+08:00

Emptiness of the soul.

Loneliness of the heart.

Today was a good day.

=)

Just wished I could touch 'em.

2006-09-18T11:32:00.000+08:00

Welcome to my quiet sanctuary
where music flows similarily
to my motions of moods and mystery.
I flicker fluently as though none were near to me.
This presence is my present
and my account of my recent extensions.
There is life within and without.
We've learned to live amongst dreary doubt.

Shadows gleaming through the sill
remind me of each and every one of you.
The rays that pass over my existence;
the rain parading around the distance.

I didn't fix it so you wouldn't break it.
I wouldn't say it just to fake it.
An admission I would never've lied
if I'd only had a notion to try.

The secrecy was not so much planned as it was needed;
true to the results, it was fairly heeded.
The addictive isolation abducted your senses from me,
friend,
while any substance of guilt imbibes within me.

I'm a blue state, a child sedate monster.
The double comma pause; a coma walking in prosper.
The city lights no longer blind me
but illuminate the places I wished to hide.
Like duststorm demos in midstream snows,
I'm closer inside anywhere mimicing home.
Magnetic hearts and polar opposites
like tides flowing sans ebbs and crests.

The nervous psychosis and scared transmissions,
like ironic masturbation with technological fascination,
results in heritage by hermitage.
An isolation by enhanced desperation
and unparalleled delineation.

There are points in life contested,
forlorn or cast aside, unaddressed,
I have forsaken many and laid doubt.
It's taught me there are certain things
I shouldn't live without,
And certain things,
That I could live without.

- Rafhan

2006-09-17T00:15:00.000+08:00

There are days when you wished the earth would just opened up and swallowed you.

There are days that you wished that you just get zapped on the spot and died without people knowing who you were.

I've had plenty of both.

But today, I wished I had never existed.

What the hell was wrong with my eyes!

-

I shall pretend it had never happened.

Pretend.

Pretend.

Poof. Bitch be gone.

2006-09-15T20:34:00.000+08:00

Back from camp again.

I am lovin every minute of this job. And I question myself why didn't I join when I was in year2.

Sigh.

All the camps I've done are different in every way.

Trainers.

Kids.

Teachers.

Well.. The experience was great.

Nth can describe it all.

-

In a deep rut that no one will ever know.

2006-09-11T07:03:00.000+08:00

It shall no longer be a big part of me.
The times were great.
But I've been dissapointed too many times by too little people.

I will still be there.
But not for too long nor too much.

Humpty dumpty sat on the wall.
Humpty dumpty had a great fall.

-
You have to take the path you have to take.
And you shall shed tears of scarlet.

2006-09-10T11:10:00.000+08:00

Like I said, My back to back camps was great fun.

It's really cute to see the kids fighting and all that stuff..

And it made me wonder, was i like that when I was at that age..?

Perhaps I was.. Or even worse..

I guess, working with the brats made me realise and ponder on my own self..

How innocent they are.. How carefree they are...

Just think back on the days when all we think of is having fun and not have a care in the world. How we could get away with almost anything by crying for our mummy. How we could almost always get everything done our way.

Well.. Camps are fun.. I am doing what I love and getiing paid for it. Let's hope I don't die doing what I love like Steve Irwin. =) I have too much regrets and things to do if i die now. But he was a good bloke. =) Peace to him.

Anyways, more camps are comin.. My calender is so full of stuff.. I don't even have time to do some things I meant to do, like watching DVDs.. That's supposed to be good right..? Haha..

Next week will be another camp.. And the week after next.. And so on..

Peace to me.

-

Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

-

Of words and subtlety,
It's not you.
Of words and politics,
I heard, not read.

2006-09-08T21:50:00.000+08:00

Camp was great!!!

Learned alot of stuff.

And the brats.. They are irritatingly cute... Haha..

Back to Back camps is definitely a nono.. Damn tiring like FUCK! Just when you say bye to your kids a second ago.. A fresh new one comes in.. And boy are they hard to manage.. But oh well.. It's been damn fun.. Shall update more if i feel like it..

-

I have been hearing alot of disturbing things.

Politics. What is that other than just hearsay. I guess.. Politics are just words and behaviour that started cause of jealousy and hatred. So what really is politics..?

Trust me my dear Yr1s.. You haven't felt a thing... What you feel.. Is just part and parcel of working life..

Welcome to the real world..
Everything is not at all rosy here..
But if you see hard enough..
You too are participating in this thing called politics..
Cause it is all about human relations..

Aren't you participating in it if you're talking about people and agreeing to what people say about others when you yourself have not experience or see what really happended or heard both sides...?

=)

Ponder and Grow up.

Don't be babies.

-

Secrecy means evasion,
and evasion means a problem to the moral mind.

Politics means jealousy,
Jealousy means a problem of one person who is selfish enough to cause friends hurt by a problem HE had caused.

2006-09-03T14:09:00.000+08:00

okokok!

SaySaySay!

Meet my friend, Jolene. She's crazy. She's dumb and last but not least downright madness.

And here's the scary part...

Meet Jene Lo. A girl I found in the internet site called friendster. Weird isn't it. how they have such striking similarities.

Ok ok.. They are actually of the same person.. I just can't fathom the fact that they are of the same person! LOL! It's so weird. One pic captures the usual her.. The crazy her.. The other shows a demure and sophisticated side of her... Weird but yea.. She reminds me Of Kimiko though.. LOL!

2006-09-03T00:47:00.000+08:00

Just when i thought i felt homesick.

I can't wait for the next camp, and getting outta here.

It's funny, how a single action can change the mood.

-

My shopping list as of today.

Nalgene Water bottle.
Trekking shoes.
Small day pack.

-

And I met a snake a few days back. It came and spoke. It's black and fairly fat. And it slithered away. Do i inspire such fear and untrustworthyness...?

-

I guess last week has too much events that happened that i dunno where to start. Or maybe I wouldn't start at all eh.

-

Of snakes and lies.
Of truth and hate.

2006-09-02T09:58:00.000+08:00

MCS protecting private Marcus.

See what happens when your mouth is open when you sleep around people like Q.

My humps. Go figure. ;P

Nigel displaying his love for his privates.

-

So.. My comp is having a bitchfit. I can transfer songs or pics from my comp or vice versa! And I was just about to show the jolene pic! wtf! Till then! Wahaks!

2006-09-02T09:57:00.000+08:00

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Now.. See!

A hot babe like Paris Hilton will miss me.

So much for friends.

2006-09-01T20:21:00.000+08:00

LTC 2006 is finally over.

It was kinda of an eye opener for me. I think I had found my resolve.

It was really fun to have most of the year 3s come back together and organise our one last final camp. It brought back memories of yester-years. All our problems and differences cast aside. I myself am quite surprised by how I worked with a few of them. I guess that's the difference.

Well, though the turnout was less than favourable, I had my fair share of fun. The initial dissapointment did linger though. But working alongside Suzhen and the rest of them Year3s was one of the highlights. Noone steped on each others tails, we know our own boundaries.

And for Suzhen to be at the camp even though It's her birthday, I can say, I may never see that kind of sacrifices any longer. I think that's why she's such a great person. Sacrifices that may be selfless, Happy Birthday Girl.

Anyways, the weather had a bitchfit on the 3rd day. Causing me a hell lot of headaches. But we still continued on with the hike and stuff, but too bad the Apex training cannot be conducted. But there's reprieve. =)

Oh, And my favourite words for now is "Not my taichi". Haha. People come to me with problems not concerning me during the pre,during and post camp, not my 'taichi'. It's your 'taichi'. Like I said, I had found my resolve. I shall not be the one who cares too much any longer. Or at least I try not to.

It seems to me, I'm gonna have a pretty darn full weeks ahead.

4-6,6-8 sept - Camp
13-15 sept - Camp
20-24 sept - SAA ltc

My life is full of camps. But atleast I'm getting paid for those 3.

VERY GOOD! VERY VERY GOOD!
-

There's some pics which are damn funny that I'll post later on. Especially there's one involving Jolene. I Was shocked to find out. wahaha!

-

Are you beginning to get get my point
They're always fighting with aching joints
It's doing nothing but tire us out
No one knows what this fight's about.

2006-09-01T16:53:00.000+08:00

The camp brought back one big sense of nostalgia.

Shall update more later on.

I just hope they will take the opportunity to clear things up.

If they ever want to.

-

I am learning to love what i used to hate.
I am learning to hate what i used to love.

2006-08-27T11:06:00.000+08:00

I really do wish to find a japanese wife.

But My friend say Korean better. Hmm..

Maybe both..?

-

Smitten by a dream.

2006-08-25T09:54:00.000+08:00

Marcus is an Ass!

-

Anyways, I guss people do take you seriously when you're angry. For example, an eamil i sent out to the snr excos, I was damn angry at CERTAIN people, perhaps only one. I guess you can know who that mutherfucker is. And I was typing it with full venom. Now when I read the email again, I LAUGHED!

Wahahaha!

Peace Ya'll!

-

I looked up to the sky and i see the blue sky. In all it's glory.

2006-08-20T00:26:00.000+08:00

I guess it still bugs me.

Since thursday.

Sigh.. So i guessed after the concert i just had to go out and clear my mind. So me, kev and alex just went out and slack.

So yea.. It still does bugs me.

-

I saw this photo a few days back, and the caption captured me.

"True friends are few and far between"

=)

Thank you Sis janet and Suzhen. You peeps are always there. And Janet, that call you made a few days back, was sweet. Just called out of the blue to ask me how I was. It was nice of you.

I guess, friends can be just friends. But true ones, are the ones that will do what janet did. I guess. I just find it... Nice... But i think you called me after you found out that I told syasya that i haven't heard from you in a while and that I was thinking how you were, were'nt you... Haha.. But still.. For you to call.. It's...Nice.

And they are there no matter what. Right Suz. =)

-

And just now after the camp instructor training, went to town with zul and caught this performance at the Esplanade. The singer was pretty. Damn pretty. She's from philippinnes. DAIIIIM.

Well, I hope to marry a Japanese one day.

Kurara Chibana. You're mine. Or If you have a daughter, She's mine. =)

2006-08-15T10:35:00.000+08:00

The kids at school called you a fool cause' you took the chance to dream.

-

2006-08-14T17:45:00.000+08:00

It's been such a drag to blog nowadays.

EVEN though I'm too free.

Thought of telling the whole story of how i managed to find my ol' friend.. But the lazy bug just bites hard.

-

Well, So here's the snitch.

Ipod Video

OR

PSP???

That's the question.

Anyone dare to answer ....?

-

Life's not all about love.
It's about indifference too.

2006-08-13T01:30:00.000+08:00

Ever thought.. How small the world can be...?

I did. And I relise.. It is big but fate and coincidences make it small.

Please pardon my limited vocab. It seems my english is failing me these days.

Anyways..

I finally found my ol' primary sch bestfriend.

Through Sonia. Wtf! Last person I would ever think of.

Ok. Now I'm lazy to type.

-

2006-08-10T15:59:00.000+08:00

Friendship is more than just hanging out together at lunch and gossiping about other people. True friendship is when two people have mutual respect for one another, and really care about the each other’s feelings and dreams. You need to be able to be honest with your friends. If there is ever a time where you feel that you can’t tell them the truth, for fear that they will be mad or won’t understand, then they aren’t true friends. Friends share with each other important things that they wouldn’t share with others. Friends also care about each other, stick up for one another and enjoy

As you grow and mature your friends may change, but that doesn’t mean that you have to do away with your old friends, your relationships may change though. Pay close attention to the different types of friends you have had- the way your friends treat you, what sort of things you can talk about, and the things you like to do. Soon you will see what qualities in a friend are most important to you. Not everyone values openess or honesty, when others look for an extraordinarily caring individual as a friend.

It just makes you wonder who we surround ourselves really are.. Friends or just aquantainces.

=)

And I just stumbled upon another webbie after I've read that webbie.

We all know what it's like to get "butterflies" when someone we are attracted to walks into a room, but how do we know when it's love and not simply an infatuation? Is it Crush? Infatuation? Love? Anyway, its definitely 'Mind Boggling or Mind Blowing' - yeah, One can Say:-)

Surfing through the Internet Highway or driving on the roads of life, you encounter many a people who become your friends. Some friends are cool, some aloof, some near, some far. The real thing on the net friendship encounters friends in chat rooms, mails, messengers, icqs and all of a sudden, one feels that you know many friends. These friends tend to be so open with you and most of the teenagers feel the fun of flirting, some get infatuated and soon when once the message flow stops – everything Freezes! The friendship flops and vanish into thin air! All remains is memories and those sweet or bitter memories reminds of a human interaction, a longing to talk to someone, whoever you encounter on the roads of Internet. These roads lead one to heaven or hell, depending on what you believe in those relationships. Relationships in friendship do have its own charm and that friendship which lasts a life long is the ‘true friendship’ and rest is what you call ‘crush’ or ‘flirting’ or ‘infatuation’ or ‘acquaintances’ or ‘having wee bit of scoop in life’

Infatuation can be characterized as feeling excited or "turned on", physically and emotionally, when a particular person is present or even when thinking about the person. When you are infatuated with someone, the tendency to dwell solely on the person's good qualities while neglecting the negative ones is present. This is not love; placing someone on a pedestal sets you up for disappointment and hurt. With infatuation comes a total devotion to the point of loss of one's identity and self. Infatuation can be particularly dangerous if the person becomes such a dominant part of your life that you are no longer able to live up to your responsibilities. Having a "crush" on someone is a normal part of growing up and discovering what kind of person you would like to be in a relationship with. If kept in perspective, these crushes can be exciting.

Being in love seems to bridge the gap between infatuation and true love. It encompasses the intense and passionate feelings at the beginning of a romantic relationship; the excitement of hearing your partner's voice on the telephone or staying up all night talking and watching the sunrise. Eventually, the newness of the relationship wears off and the "spark" may not be as strong. However, this does not mean that the relationship is over. Nevertheless, it is important to assess whether you are losing your attraction or interest in the other person or whether your feelings are simply developing toward a higher level- more intense love.

Loving someone goes deeper than infatuation or the intensity of feelings surrounding a new relationship. It involves an unconditional acceptance of another person's beliefs, thoughts and feelings. This does not mean, however, that you must agree with the person on all matters in order to love him or her, but an appreciation and respect for opinions and emotions is vital. Love takes time to develop and involves sharing one's thoughts, feelings, dreams, disappointments and triumphs. Love must also exist at a level in which each person can maintain a sense of his or her identity apart from the relationship. Loving someone entails acknowledging and accepting everything about him or her, both good and bad. Your personal growth should not be stunted by the relationship but, rather, must develop more fully because of the relationship.

Loving someone and building a solid relationship is an ongoing process; it will be filled with conflicts and resolutions and should never be taken for granted. To love or to be loved is the greatest gift one can give or receive from another.

So, What is Crush then? You feel low, falling apart, flying high in the skies or being pricked by a thousand thorns inspite of the fragrance of a rose, when the heaven meets the hell and you feel all is ‘Oh so, exciting yet malign’ – You are having a Crush!! Crush is no too young or too old for any person. Anybody can have a Crush, be it a teenager or a 40 Plus! Traditions insists on a certain age gap between a guy and a girl in love and the girl got to be younger but that’s no longer the rule! A crush throws traditions out of the floor. The relationship in friendship can be matched to a younger girl and older man or a married man and young girl or married women too. So, what if you get caught in this age old trap? What if you feel that you have a Crush? It happens any time, anywhere, someday, somewhere in everybody’s life. Isnt this true?

You know the feeling..

That sometimes you just wished you lived in that dream you just had?

And sometimes you just feel that you like someone and is too scared to tell that person....

Sigh.. :(

Anyone has Vanessa Anne hudgens' contacts..?

Please....

Anyone....?

-

here's the difference between you and I
I'll tell the truth and count my blessings
so thanks for all you've done
but I won't let you get the best of me.

Friendships aren't build on false promises and pretence.

2006-08-08T00:12:00.000+08:00

If my life had a voice.

It will persist in it's monology of my life.

-

When life was all rosy,
the sky never fails to shine.
Now it all ain't that cosy,
the sky shows it might, and show's us who's the hine.

Ain't it funny how friends,
Can give us the pleasures.
And then turn around and turn to fiends.
And give us one hell of a crooked, out of tune overture.

He was such a nice lad,
One who would do work with so much vigour.
Look how he turned out now, just too bad.
With all that power, he thought he is untouchable.

Chewy bits and all that pow.
He ate all the chocolates he could have.
But he was a crow.
Scavenging on love people throw.

Well, look at him now.
With all that hatred, It's no surprise.
The candle he longed for,
he found the heart hard to prise.

The day you learn what had been written and said,
It would be all too late.
I would be in bed.
Dreaming and laughing at your fate.

Everyday, I thank god.
He gave me a goddess to replace the rat.
She came in a Trishaw,
He fell into a rut.

Well, Life's like that, they say.
Well, To hell with him i say.

Subtlety is key my dear friends.

For those who know. Smile on my taggie.

=)

-

Let's do some living before we die.

2006-08-07T11:39:00.000+08:00

My total expenses so far....

1gb mmc card : $42
Mizuno Street soccer shoes: $65
Havaianas Trek sandals: $49.90
............................................$156.90

wtf! I spent $157!!!!!

That does not include the meals! Shit!

-

It's always nice to have read a good book. It leaves you feeling invogerated. Feeling as thouh the book has done you justice.

Mario Puzo's Godfather is a classic.

All those loyalty. Family comes first. Friendship. Respect.

How I wish all those was for real.

And perhaps, friendship means as much to people now as it did then.

-

Where'd you go.

2006-08-07T01:25:00.000+08:00

Don't mistake my benevolence for stupidity.

Don't mistake my kindness for a weakness.

Don't mistake my friendship for real friendship.

Do fuck yourself in the ass.

2006-08-04T23:57:00.000+08:00

Ficken pissed.

Don't even ask me about it.

Just when I thought ITP was going to end.

One thing just makes me pissed after the other.

SO let's pretend we're fine and dandy.

-

Sometimes, I'd rather believe in fiction than reality. Cause in fictions, characters are usually far more real than reality.

It seems like the world going upside down isn't it...?

I wished Don Corleone was a real person. I would really love to meet him and be indebted to him. Or do him a favour. ATLEAST he would respect and treasure the friendship. Even if it was based on extortion and all that racket.

Would you do anything for a friend or even a stranger....?

The Don would. And he asks nothing in return but friendship and respect.

And if the day would come that the Don needs your help, you are expected to come.

And you will come whole heartedly. Not because you fear his power, but because a friend is in need. You owe a debt of gratitude to a man who has kept his word and broken none.

Well.. A perfect gentlemen like that will never exist would they...?

All our so called friends will be too caught up in their petty problems to be even bothered to look around without their rose tinted glasses.

Wake up and smell the roses.

-

Just tie the rope.

2006-08-03T10:50:00.000+08:00

"Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because they're one of a kind."

Something I received to describe all november babies.

2006-08-01T01:09:00.000+08:00

It's like one of those typical chain letters.

But the ending struck me.

To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of
one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident...

To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.

-
Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how.

2006-07-31T11:50:00.000+08:00

If you wanna fly, Come and take a ride.

-

Had a very weird+funny+amusing dream all broiled into one.

WAHAHAHAH!

I'm sure Trish babe and Suzhen would like to know!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

-

Oh yar! I almost forgot!

WHY DO GIRLS HAVE TO SMOKE!!!!???

Actually.. It's more of an exclaimation!

WHY!!!

Cause you see.. I saw this pretty young thing on saturday while working.. THAT was AFTER Jeremy had left!

SEE JEREMY!

You gone = Pretty chicks for Farhan!

I digressed.

Anyways..

She looked damn mixed. Nice. Looked almost like Kristin Kreuk. Nice flowing blonde hair. Sparkling brown eyes. NO CONTACTS. Cute sweet smile that can brighten up your darkest days. Wearing a nice babyT and denim skirt. With a pair of flats. I mean.. How good can it get! Daaaaaammmmmnnn....

As usual I greeted her but i added a more personal touch askin her how was her day and stuff.. WE chatted for a while.. AND THEN.. She opened her purse.. And asked me where the ash tray is.. And took out a cig and started to smoke.. By then my heart sank. Suzh a pretty young thing.. Messing it all up by smoking. Nothing against her choice of lifestyle or smokers. But It's just sucky to see girls smoke.. Call me old fashioned... But I believe they deserve better.

So girls. Don't smoke.

It's bad for you.

-

What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they're really your enemies, with secret indentities
and disguises, to hide they're true colors
So just when you think you're close enough to be brothers
they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin

Eminem.

2006-07-31T01:26:00.000+08:00

JUST HAD TO DO THIS Before i sleep!!

Your name is... Salinasaurus.
Your kiss is.... erotic coz people love everything big. It's sexy.
Your hugs are.... to die for. Coz when you hug. They Literally DIE!
Your eyes... twinkle in the moonlight coz only the moon dares to look at you in the eye. COZ if people Look at you you think they like you..COZ your thick skinned like any other dinosaurs..AND when you think people like you..You hug them. AND then they DIE!
Your touch is... The only thing i desire when I want to commit suicide... Coz your definition of touch is HUG!
Your smell is.... Amazingly PUTRID.. DISGUSTING...ROTTEN!
Your smile is... Encouraging me to puke myself to death.
Your love is.... unique coz of all of the above. NOTHING SURVIVES! THAT'S WHY YOUR THE LAST DINOSAUR ON EARTH! NOONE WANTS TO MATE WITH YOU!

WAHAHAHAHAHAH!

2006-07-31T00:49:00.000+08:00

Was supposed to get a present for *AHEM*.

BUT!

I ended up spending on myself.

Ended up buying myself a Haivaianas Trek. LOL!

And *poof* Bitchin49bucks be gone!

And now my shopping list goes!

Skate shoe-$130
Street Soccer shoe-$50
Brown smart shoe-$90
One more cap-$60

Which amounts to....... $330 FREAKING BUCKS!

DAMN i'm gonna be broke.

-

Had a long talk with Su Zhen. =)

She's my new best friend. Not really.. Too racist to be one.. BUT perhaps!.. WAHAHAHAHA! YUP! That racist girl is my new friend!

LOL!

Kinda nice to just share on our past and present problems and heartaches. It's nice to know that perhaps.. Some friends still do care.

Our talk on friendship got me thinking.I believe it take 2 hands to clap. Friendship dies out when neither one bothers to care. She said perhaps fate will bring the 2 friends together again someday.

I dunno. Perhaps. But just imagine this.. What if 10 years from now.. You see a friend who were so close to you.. But you guys drifted apart cause..well.. You just drifted.. Cause both were to busy to tend to their own friendship.. What's the first thing you're gonna do..? Smile?Give that "Doiknowyou" look? or perhaps just a 'hi'..? Do bear in mind..This is the friend..10 years earlier.. his/her shoulder was wet due to your tears.. Whose ears listened to your enless pain and problems.. Who was just there for you when you needed a friend most...

Do you think any of those reactions suffice...?

I mean.. Till now.. I am still searching for my best friend I had in my primary school days. A chance to just say Hi and catch up. =)

Most people take friendships for granted. Apathy the ultimate culprit. Ignorance comes close in second.

It's the apathy of friends that starts the rot. It's the ignorance that makes it die.

Trust me.

I'm learning it first hand. =)

-

So send your letters of regret
It’s not the words you never said,

2006-07-30T01:12:00.000+08:00

I spend the greater half of the hour just now going through the tshirts that My uncle got for me from the states.

Damn.

Just went I thought I wanted to go shopping!

=)))))

Save my money again then!

-

Yesterday may come too late.

2006-07-28T23:41:00.000+08:00

-

If you thought, You thought wrong.
Do not misintepret things.
Disastrous consequences follows.

-
It's weird to see people acting weird.

Get it...?

But somehow you have the slightest hint why they are acting that way. And You sure as hell want to clarify things but am afraid that you thought wrong.

See how complicated life is...?

Well.. To those people.. Take it with a pinch of salt.

And chilli. =)

-

Feelings insincere.
So get back to where we lasted.
Or I can be your memory,
Can I be your enemy?

2006-07-28T09:38:00.000+08:00

Ever noticed how life can be full of bittersweet moments...?

Just read "The Rules Of life".

A nice book. =)

"If you're going to be a friend, be a good friend."

"You will be there to give them good advice.You will be there just to listen at times.You will be there when you don't want to be.You will be there when the other friends have fallen on the wayside.You will be there no matter what."

-

I'm not afraid to be a lone bohemian.

2006-07-25T23:03:00.000+08:00

The French Foreign Legion.

It's been around for centuries. Only now.. It is either forgotten or just a mysterious unit from the French Army.

Legionnaires can choose to enlist under a pseudonym ("declared identity") and a declared citizenship. This disposition exists in order to allow people who want to turn over a new leaf in their life to enlist. French citizens can enlist under a declared, fictitious, foreign citizenship (generally, a francophone one). After one year, legionnaires can regularize their situation under their true identity.

After serving in the Legion for three years (out of a five-year initial enlistment), the legionnaire is allowed to apply for French citizenship. Furthermore, a soldier harmed in combat for France is also allowed to apply for French citizenship under a provision known as "Français par le sang versé" ("French by spilled blood").

See the links below. The videos will tell you more!

=)

Wanna join justin...?

Wahahaha!

French Foreign Legion Part1
French Foreign Legion Part2
French Foreign Legion Part3

-

And for now I've decided to die.

2006-07-24T16:21:00.000+08:00

They say every story has an end.

They say a good friend is when both of you are talking before your good friend fly off to another place or a very long time, and when they get back, you pick up th conversation where both of you left off. And talked as if not a moment was lost.

They say lightning never strikes at the same place twice.

They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Ever wondered who this "they" might be...?

And we still listen to them.

=)

-

Pretty girl she's suffereing while he confesses everything.

2006-07-23T22:52:00.000+08:00

Well.. I dunno what's wrong with me.

Ok.. So here's the symptoms.

1. I've got money.
2. I want to go shopping.
3.When I do go shopping. I lose my desire to buy anything.
4. So now I shall continue saving.

LOL!

I think something is really wrong with me.

-

Anyways.. I saw this book in borders. It's called "Rules of life" If I'm not wrong.I saw many meaningful stuff in there..

There was this excerpt.. "A friend may be there for you whether you like it or not. Or whether she likes it or not. A true friend will be there when the rest have fallen wayside..."

And i read on..

And I read on..

I 'll share some other times perhaps..

=)

-

I'm thinkin of joining the French foreign legion.

Care to join me anyone..?

Français par le sang versé

French by spilled blood.

2006-07-23T09:54:00.000+08:00

SONIA!! READ THAT! HASINA TOO! AND SALINA!

"HOT,AROUSING"!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I'm HOT!!!

Take that to non-believers that farhan is hot!

-

My friends are the one that failed me.

2006-07-23T01:16:00.000+08:00

So yea.. Like i said in the previous post..

I did say too soon.

things cropped up. Family stuff. Fucked up. Why can't everyone just be good..?

Sigh!

-

They say every man has an ego. But what really does embody the thing we all call "ego"..?

Is ego the thing that gets in the way when the truth is right there smack in front of your face.. The better choice.. But instead.. You took another.. Coz you're afraid to face that option. Or are you just not man enough to admit that you made a mistake. Everyone makes some. Plenty perhaps. But the dinstinct difference between me and some of them.. Is that perhaps.. I can gladly admit my mistakes and concede that I'm wrong than some people I know.

In a movie I watched, there was this line that caught me. "The human heart is still subject to monstrous deceits." How true that phrase is. Our heart is deeper than the ocean. There are depths in our hearts that we have yet to discover. And perhaps that's how people change through time. As they discover themselves in their hearts.. Some turn black.. Some turn pure. I am not a purist. I daresay.. My heart is as black as coal. And you can't fake it hard enough to please.

The human being has unique ways of dealing with things. Apathy. Sadistic. And whatever nought. some would rather turn away from the problem and hoped someone would help clear it up.. While some would tackle it head on... And while some I know.. Would just turn to the age old art of deception and deceit... But have we ever wondered why they react this way..?

And so I digressed. but It's loosely connected though. Did it occur to you.. This so called "ego" have something to do with it...? When we hope for the thing to blow over...Our ego is just too lazy to react and depend on others to help them...? Do not that the meaning of "ego" is "A consious thinking subject;the part of the mind that reacts to reality and has a sense of individuality" So perhaps.. our dear Mr "ego" reacts that way for some people. And to some.. That "Ego" is just simply a part of them.

For me.. I must admit.. I do have an ego. but.. I feel.. It's non-existent. I feel I'm more self-consious among other things. BUT I do have principles that I hold on to dearly.

1. Thou shalt not dissapoint a friend if that friend had helped you.
2. Thou shalt not raise your voice to your parents.
3. Thou shalt never let a bad day affect you or other people.
4. Thou shalt not vent your frustration on others.
5. Thou shalt not look down on people.
6. thou shalt forgive but never forget.
7. Thou shalt never stay piss for so long.

I am not perfect.. I do break or bend my principles here and there.. But Never more than once or twice. All my 18 years in this world.. I've been taught to live in principles. Taught by my dad and the uncle that I am so indebted to.

And so, That's the difference between me and you. I live with principle. I dun live with ego.

-

a place where your face is plastered up on the glass
that same place that we all hung out after class
but today's a case of you can kiss my ass
or embrace your position with that esidency pass
keep in mind not to diss and piss whenever you wish
the very people who once helped you fag
and yea its you im talking about you faggot ass
the same one who you asked for assistance in the past

the day you leave we'll fly flags at half mast
not cos we're sad or the fact that we couldn't care less
but cos the mess you brought about will be a thing of the past
taking power as your sole empowering tower
u shreded the unity like an unforgiving land mower
although its not the first time i've seen such a class act
its horrible considering that he was a nice chap

look at him now such a brainless nut
face smug looking fit for a place in my butt
proclaiming innocence when you're really a conniving thug
nothing nice to convey just zip it tight
cos our plight is simple we dont leave without a fight
your little croney with you that motherfucking looney
can sit 'esdie you hands clasped in entity
for his just as stubborn that brainless jack
who hasn't realized his peers don't lose track
the amount of shit he puts forth and acts
arrogant as fuck a face worth to smack

-Courtesy of an ol' friend. :)

-

I have lots more to say..But perhaps.. Ill save it for another day. :)

2006-07-21T09:19:00.000+08:00

I must be a total nutcase to take it up.

But.. I AM a total nutcase.

-

IMF here i come!

Haha! It supposedly a big event. I just hope there's lotsa hot chicks to see!

Haha!

-

I am starting to see the light already. All those fucked up shitties are slowly dissipating.

But mayb it's still too early to say.

HAHA!

-

Thoughts before me.

2006-07-19T09:59:00.000+08:00

"im not working this weekend cos they r still printing the flyers..last week they said i was hardworking...hahaha! of course man!! i dont wanna let suzhen down...she gave me the lobang for this pt job..must jaga the image rite~"

Read this off Salina's blog. Well. Atleast some people have that kind of thinking. It shows good people still do exist in this world. Unlike some unholy motherfucking few i know. Perhaps only one.

-

Well.. It's been one hell of a fucking month.. It sucks.. And the show continues.. I think this month is by far the worst ever.. I don't usually stay pissed at a person for long.. But there is this person who is really testing and pushing my limits.. And when i decide enough is enough.. You people would wish I wasn't your friend.

C'mon. You know who you are.

Wenn Sie arbeiten wollen. Arbeiten Sie Mann. Gehen Sie herum mit Ihre Freundin in letzter Minute nicht und sagen Sie, dass Sie einen anderen Stoff haben, und denkend, dass ich nicht weiß. Ich WEISS! Ich habe Ihnen die Aufgabe gegeben, weil Sie Ein gewollt haben. Jetzt nehmen Sie mich für einen fool.well. Ich bin ein Narr. Aber ein Narr der er weiß wird getäuscht. Und das ist ein gefährliches Spiel, meinen Teufel zu spielen.

Kev mann and alexis.. You'll know. =)

-

Have you ever noticed :

the apathy of friends when you need them the most..?

How the least likely person you expect most to be ther for you..Are there for you..?

How you thought you had friends but realised you had fiends for friends..?

How your f'r'iends think they had you fooled..But you were up to their game..?

How you are letdown by your so called 'friends'?

How life can screw you for one moment but also made you realise other things..?

Well... ASk yourself this questions and then you can ask me how my day is..

-

Please forgive the angst in my past few entries... Wait.. Why shall i ask for forgiveness..

Fuck Fuckitty Fuck FUck FUCK!

Well.. I am in an agsty mood.

Everything pisses me off..

How i wish i couldjust go off form this fucking enviroment i have in this school.

Union.
Work.
School.

Well.. Atleast i have my form of excapism. Songs and reading vicky's blog.

I really can't wait to just leave school. Serve the motherucking communist country and just join perhaps SIA or some other airlines and just fly off. Leave everything superficial stuff behind.

Superficial friends.
Superficial life.

This shit is bananas.

-
I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

2006-07-18T00:03:00.000+08:00

It's month of stunning revelations.

Fucked up luck.

Shitty situations.

Someone up there must be pissed with me.

So let's get fucked up and die.

-

2006-07-10T17:03:00.000+08:00

Gutted.

That will be my answer if you ask me how I am now.

Past weeks has been sucky. Yesterday..Coupled with the events that had been unfolding today sucks balls. Hands down this is the worst day ever.

Don't bother asking me the reason why..Coz I think by that time.. I wouldn't be pissed. Coz I don't usually stay pissed for long. WITH exceptions.

God kill me. Please.

-
How do you know when how much is too much? Too much too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love. Too much to ask... And when is it all just too much to bear?

2006-07-10T09:17:00.000+08:00

A Tribute to Heroes. MY heroes.

There's only ONE Keano.

Roy keane has always been my number one idol. His numerous rantings... No holds barred comments has endeared greatly to me. Which is why perhaps my favourite number is 16.

There's is only one keano.

The King. Cantona.

Nuff' said.

Glory Glory Man Utd.

Dear Zizou,

Why did you have to lose your head..Literally...? Your stage was set. The lights, camera and audience were all ready to see..One of the greatest footballers of our generation bow out of his career with a medal aound your neck. But instead.. You bowed out..Walking down the dark tunnel with head down..And not even catch a glimpse of that coveted cup. Ar are you afraid of the cup mocking you...?

You too are one of my idols..My heroes... Something I relised just of now.. Is that my heroes are always captains who always had a temper that will flare up without warning. Appearing cool one moment..And erupt in another moment. I've had my fair share of cards. My memorable one was throwing the ball at an opponents face.. Just cause I don't like the way he looks..AND he's standing in front of me.. But that was in some mini..Non-existent tourney.. BUT you..You had the world at your feet.. The world..Awaiting a glimpse..A final chance to watch a true legend play in the world cup finals. A chance to see a legend gets what he deserves most. A winner's medal.

Why Zizou....Why? That's the question I guess everyone is asking.

A great. A legend.

Adieu Zizou.

2006-07-09T23:55:00.000+08:00

And to cap it all off.

C ronaldo really do want out. I'm pissed. SO pissed that I had just broke my plastic file after throwing it on the floor.

Fcuk them.

2006-07-09T23:13:00.000+08:00

To my dearest Jeremy,

I would have told you on monday had you not displayed it on your blog. So there you go! You know the reason. You hate liars. We're all liars.

I shall not even go into details.

I know you're not the kind who is easy to forgive and forget. Just let me know when you're done hating me aight. And I'll tell you how I'd seen through all the lies that people thought I never knew. Nah. You'll never be interested.

:)

No matter how hard we try to ignore or deny it, eventually the lies fall away, whether we like it or not. But here's the truth about the truth: The truth freaking hurts. So we lie.

-

Okay, so, sometimes even the best of us make rash decisions. Bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we're going to regret the moment, the minute, especially the morning after. I mean, maybe not regret, regret because at least, you know, we put ourselves out there. But...still. Something inside us decides to do a crazy thing. A thing we know will probably turn around and bite us in the ass. Yet, we do it anyway. What I'm saying is...we reap what we sow. What comes around goes around. It's karma and, any way you slice it...karma sucks.

Nice way to sum up how i feel now. Not just about the paragraph that I have written which was dedicated to Jerm. On the whole.

Khai Didn't work today. I'm pissed. Coz I feel it's irresponsible of him to NOT call the concierge when i told him to call them himself as it is work. Not some company my uncle owns. Jerry had to ask me when khai is coming and i told him I thought he called you. And the nice sarcastic jerry had to say "Don't think. Make sure" Basket! He used my words back on me. Haha! And so i was pissed. Called khai 3 times he never answered. Then I didn't bothered.

So miss nicole.. If You happen to read this! Tell him that I am fucking pissed! Lying to me.. I dun care... I wun be a bitch about it.. And Nic.. If you are really smart and read my previous entries.. You'd know that I'd seen thru it all.. THAT is if you know what I mean.

So yea.. Atleast when i did that to jeremy.. I knew Karma was coming.. YES! It came.. I worked alone.. But at least I called the concierge before hand that I would be coming very late as i got soccer.. And I bet Mr Ariff knew the real reason why i did not come.. He's not dumb.

Look man. I gave you the job. Be responsible man. You wanna bastard. Bastard in a gentlemans' way man. Atleast when I lied.. Jeremy knew I had not called concierge.. You better start taking responsibility man.. You pissed me off 3 times ready.. I am not stupid man.. You count the number of times.. But lucky me.. I am a person who easily forgive and forget..

And to help you Alex knows reason Number 1.

I had not meant this entry to be one filled with stuff to stab.. But since it's along the way.. Why not man...? You wanted a job. I gave it to you. You don't owe me shit man. A simple "Eh farhan.. Thanks for the job ar." would suffice. Take ownership man. And dun feel that you are indebted to me in any way.. IF you are feeling so..WHICH I GREATLY doubt...

-

Let's Get fucked up and die.

2006-07-06T23:09:00.000+08:00

Life sucks at the moment.

Everything sucks.

Friends.

Family.

School.

Work.

You name it.

I feel like whining. But i suddenly lost it.

Go figure.

-

When thugs cry.

2006-07-06T11:06:00.000+08:00

I'm still bitter about Ronaldo's comments on wanting a move away from Man Utd. I dun even know why I'm so bitter! LOL! Guess that's what they call a die-hard supporter!

GLORY GLORY MAN UTD!

-

It struck me how sometimes people can know that they are hated and yet they continue to be nonchalant over it.

Man they are gonna die a lonely death.

And I thank god everyday that Tricia was my asst. a2433n345d n324324o25626t h32523532i3532532m23.

I love her. I love God. I love my life.

THANKEW GOD!

Lucky me.

NO.

LUCKY US! As jeremy put it. Haha! ;) You know what I'm talking about! HAHA! Right Jerm!LOL

-

AND I thank those SMART ASS who came up with the website!

PANDORA

They TOTALLY rock my world!

My days in ITP are no longer made up of the same songs! WEEEEEETS!

-

Listen, understand, understand
Reason never came to your head
Poison are the words you inject
Vexing till your last fucking breath

Never Learn - Rufio

2006-07-06T07:10:00.000+08:00

THIERY HENRY IS A CHEATING SCUM!

DIVERRR!!!

PORTUGAL LOST!

WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Damn lar.. The finals is a sucky one! Though my predictions for the semi finalist all came true.. My faveourite teams all crashed and burned!

I cried for Argentina.
I sang for Portugal.
I still do HATE C Ronaldo though....For saying he wants to go to Real Madrid.
I HATE henry.
I LOVE Zidane.

Guess I'll be supporting France in the finals.
A final ode for the old Zizou. An inspiration to all footballers.
-

And now as i am blogging.. DARK clouds are looming!

Scary but the thought of cooling rain excites me.

=)

-

Hypocrisy reigns.

2006-07-02T02:38:00.000+08:00

PORTUGAL WON!

Cue: Engalnd supporters go "FUCK YOU FARHAN!"

LAMPARD MISSED!

Cue: Tricia go "FUCK YOU FARHAN"

France WON!!

Cue: French chicks go "ooooooooh"

Brazil LOST!

Cue: Brazil chicks Lift up their shirts and flashes!

Wahaha! I went crazy man!

I took off my tshirt and danced a crazy dance!

..............And got scolded by my dad! For making so much noise!

So yea.. Portugal won!

WEEEEEETS!

-

So yea.

People are leavin me.

Sounds emo enough...?? HAHAHA

But really though.. Just feeling a pang of sadness..

I dunno why i am feeling the loss.. Even though they are not really that close to me...

Like my father's best friend. Who's migrating to Australia. He was like the uncle i never had. And the brother my father never had. Always there to help my dad out of tight spots. And help my family. Especially in the situation we are in now. And now he's leavin. And during the farewell dinner we held for him.. He cried when he made his speech and so did my father.. AND amazingly.. I felt a tear coming too.. It just shows how true the friendship was between them.. And how friendship is sometimes the best thing life can offer.

And now my uncle is resignin to head for greener pastures. He's gonna be the Guest Relations Manager at a clubhouse that's gonna be build at the Sentosa waterfront cove. He's got a better position and ching ching. Wish him all the best. I will be forever be indebted to him. He gave me my first job. Which I came to fall in love with, the hospitality industry. AND he is always the one helping me get a job. And the one giving me advice on how to survive in the working world out there. Like how he told me that day.."It doesn't matter what position you're offered. Just make sure the pay is better than the one you have currently before you decide to move on from a job. Positions are nothing. Money talks. You will have a family to feed."

So yea.. And i just found out.. All the other concierges are also tendering in their resignation on the 3d of July. Damn.. Even the bellmen are disgruntled. The management up there totally suck man.

So yea. Go jump down.

-

Oh yar!

C Ronaldo says he wants to join Real Madrid!

THAT BIG MUTHERFUCKER! FUCKIN JUDAS!

BETRAYER! I AM SO HATING HIM!

Man Utd do not need this kinda players!

Fuck off fuckbag!

I hope Roon really do stick him one during training.

-

I'm becoming the part that don't last.

2006-06-30T11:23:00.000+08:00

LADIES AND GENTLEWUSSIES!

GOD... This website is a godsent!

Go to this guys!

Blow your ears out!

It really saved from monotony.

BOOYAH!

-

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

HAppy Birthday Hasinasaurus!

AND Salinasaurus.. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS OK!

Doesn't mean you're ugly you must be jealous!

-

In the darkeness you will find dirty little secrets we all hide.

2006-06-28T22:32:00.000+08:00

I am so fcukin pissed right now.. That I am so not gonna post what i intended to post.

I hate it when people lie to me for stupid reasons.

AND I hate it when I get to find out.. AND find out it's because of a reason that i can TOTALLY understand if HE had explained to me. I gave HE the job cause I believe in brotherhood and friendship... BUT HE had to betray it.. Saying stupid stuff about how yadayadayada is noisy.. FUCKING SHIT MAN.. YOu just told me the other day that YAYAYAYA was YAYAYAYA COZ HE was not YAYAYA... Fuck it man.

I am a man who appreciates honesty. I can handle it man. If you dare to tell me in my face honestly.. You have my respect. Cause you know you have a life to live and you want others to respect your life.. If you tell it to my face that you hate me.. I'd still respect you.. Cause you have the guts that even I dun have.. Cause you see.. To me.. Respect and honesty is everything.. I hate people who lie to me for reasons that i can understand and will respect..

AND Now.. I am for sure not gonna intro any friends to jobs that I have.. I have been letdown in more ways than one...

Not even a word of thanks was heard.

You call that brothers. You call that friendship. You call that BASIC COURTESY.

AND do note the sarcasm.

-

ME against the world.

2006-06-26T16:43:00.000+08:00

Alright alright! Here you go people! Vanessa Anne Hudgens. Born in philippinnes to a very culturally mixed family. Chinese, Spanish, Filipino and Native american descent. This girl is one HUTE girl!

Hute = Cute + HOT!

Ahaks!

You probably seen her in High School Musical. And DAIIIIIIIIMN she is HUTE in that movie!

Just to let everyone know.. She's my current girlfriend after I dumped Jessica Alba. No worries though. Jessie is cool with this girl.

She's my angel.

:)

2006-06-25T23:54:00.000+08:00

So okay... Eric's injury is EVEN WORSE than expected!

LOL!

So yea.. looks like second time running not playing in the inter-cons.

Get well soon bro!

-

So give me hell.

2006-06-23T16:15:00.000+08:00

Dillemma...Dillemma..

What should i do...?

Sigh...Sigh...

That's the reason why I hate IT.

Dengs.
-

Soccer Later!

Ooooooooh! Can't wait...

But too bad I'm sick!

Bummer... I foresee a bad match for me.

=(

-

I could tell you the wildest of tales
My friend the giant and traveling sales
Tell you all the times that I failed
The years all behind me the stories exhaled.

And I'm drying out
Crying out
This isn't how I go

2006-06-22T23:44:00.000+08:00

I am felling angsty now.

I dunno why but go figure.

So yea.

People do change.

Friends change.

Nothing forever. Even diamonds. ;)

It's good when you realize people change.

It's bad when you fail to realize that you've changed too.

So.. Go emo and think!

Lalalalalalalalala!

-

Emofied Jammed.

2006-06-22T11:27:00.000+08:00

So okay.. My office comp is seriously in need of a good ol' thrashing.

Nuff' said.

-

So anyways.. Just saw my ex-classmate in both sec sch and primary school in a commercial yesterday.

If you guys are the kind of person who are glued to the telly. You might be able to recall an Ad for KFC on the Superman offer thingy.. And at the lsat part where there is this couple who were eating.. So yea.. The girl is...or perhaps WAS a friend. We barely talk anymore.. So perhaps an aquantaince is more of a suitable word.

It's funny how she changed from an ugly duckling, big dorky spectacles, tallest giraffe in our primary school, funny looking, to one ..Hmm.. You can say a pleasant looking lady.

So it's funny how people can change.

Physically.

Mentally...Perhaps.

So how do you define a friend...?

I knew her last time..Same class.. Joked around.. and stuff.. But as we grew up.. It all came to a naught.

How do you know that the friends that you call good friends now.. Will be there for you in the future. Perhaps there are some cases where they stay on..all those BFF memories and crap.. All those pacts we made.. All those promises.. Somehow.. The human brain do not conform to those pacts or promises that we hold so dearly then.

They say we can't choose our family.. But we can choose our friends.

True.. True..

But perhaps there is a reason why we can't choose our family isn't it.

Does it strike you how a mother will never believe his child to not be a murderer even though he is charged. And how your so called friends will seem to be non-existant once they find out.

I just saw a news on msn.com

There.. The marines who killed the Iraqi civillians were charged with murder, among other stuffs. And the mother of one of the soldiers were quoted saying, " I'm in utter disbelief. I do not believe my son is a murderer. That is not the son i raised. My son is a good man."

Wait..Wait... Before you argue.. Which person will straight away say that.. Without any hesitation or doubt.. Which person..?

Doesn't it strike you how you will always find the longing of acceptance in a family more than of a friend. And how if you can't get that.. You will go then.. To your friends and crave for the same feelings that you never had at home. I guess what goes around comes around.

They say the opposite of love is not hate.. But indifference.

So.. What..?

We crave not for indifference.. But yearn for love. Love in indifference.

Daaaaaaiiiiiiimmmmnnnnn... I digressed!

I guess i was trying to say that friends come and go in our lives. Nothing is permanent. One that has a beginning, has an ending.

So there.. Another pointless whining.

LOL!

-

Don't call it a comeback!

2006-06-21T09:00:00.000+08:00

It's lyrically fucked up how the internet in the office always fucked up and die when i am about to post something!

I had something to post yesterday... But somehow it was lost in cyberspace.

Daaaaiiiiiiiiiiimmnnnn.

-

You know about eulogies. How people would go on telling other strangers, friends and family how you lived your life.

I as a muslim do not have a eulogy.

But if i were to be remembered.. I hoped to be remembered by... A person. A friend. Never forgotten.

Why the sudden ranting on eulogies you may ask...?

Well.. Go figure..

My posts are always random thoughts anyways.

-

C'mon C'mon.. Be a hypocrite.

2006-06-19T12:11:00.000+08:00

I don't normally do this... But heck! I'm too bored in my office.

Boredom kills me!

6 things you hate:
-Emofied jammed people.
-injections.
-Needles.
-Mats.
-Minahs.
-People toying with my cap.

6 things you love:
-CAPS!
-Hot chicks.
-Chocolates.
-Soccer!!!
-FOOD!!
-Music.

6 bands/boybands you like/adore:
-Motion city soundtrack
-Hoobastank
-Panic! at the disco
-Greenday
-The cranberries
-Avenged Sevenfold

6 things you look out for in a girl/guy:
-Hot butt.
-Nice smile.
-Positive outlook in life.
-A soft and sultry voice.
-Cool taste in clothes,music and everything.
-Loves and understand what i love. SOCCER!!

6 things you love doing:
-Playing soccer!
-Listening to music. It heals the soul.
-Playing pranks on people.
-Surfing the web for nice quotes!
-Shopping.
-Working at the hotel! Hot chicks galore!

6 things you hate doing:
I
actually
can't
put
a
finger
to
it. hmmm... Doing this???

6 things you want to do before you die:
-Travel arounf the world.
-hmmmm
-hmmmm
-hmmmm
-hmmmm
-hmmmm... Alot. Wahahahaha!

6 people you want to see doing this:
I dunno. I dunno why i did this in the first place!

-

Like i said boredom kills!

-

Oh..!!!

Trish told me this last night!!

Friend: Eh... Why you so emo ar..?
Emo guy: sigh.. I dunno..
Friend: What's wrong..?
Emo guy: the glass is half full..... Half full with tears...
Friend: AH.. FUCK ah!

LOL!!!! If i remembered it correctly it went sumthing like that! A convo between her friend and his friend. Emofied jammed people. LOL!!!!

I dunno why some people can be so emo! LOL!! I mean who says being sad is wrong! But forever being emo is like so fucked up lar! That's why i call them emofied jammed! LOL! I guess thats why they have those gay ass long hair which practically cover their eyes.. To shield themselves so that people don't know they're crying 24/7!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

-

Take the lead.

2006-06-18T14:59:00.000+08:00

Soccer Soccer Soccer!

Friday's game was fun!

Scored a hat trick!

Farhan Jr got rammed in the face by the ball kicked shafiq!

Influenced to score an own goal by SHAFIQ's jersey!

As you can see, all bad luck starts with shafiq!

Tsk Tsk Tsk.

-

Today's NSSL sucked!

Scored a hat trick in the first game!

A goal in the second but we lost!

Those Mofos played fucking rough. Almost got my face rammed straight on into the wall. Lucky thing i covered my face with my arm!

So yea.. Soccer soccer soccer!

-

I'm still gonna miss keano though.

I'm planning to buy a BIG BIG HUMONGOUS poster of him and paste it on my wall!

HAH!

2006-06-15T01:25:00.000+08:00

The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created--created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them, changes both the maker and the destination.
~ John Schaar

I find this totally true.

-

2006-06-15T00:52:00.000+08:00

Respect Keano.

He earned mine. My idol. My hero. The one i look up to on the field.

A sad sad event to have had him reitired in OT.

But he still is the best.

I hope he will come again and replace the gaffer.

-

We'll have the life we knew we would. :)

2006-06-13T09:33:00.000+08:00

It's been more than a week since i last blogged!

And it's either i am too busy or I'm too lazy.. Or I simply find better things to do when i was just about to blog!

Like how now I am thinking of sleeping after last night's marathon movie and sing a-long session after spring cleanin!

LOL!

-

My dearest friend Timo! What a nice nerd he is! Wahahaha!

-

Well.. Perhaps I'll be back later.

Smell ya later peeps.

2006-06-05T11:33:00.000+08:00

Why am i always tortured with uncanny methods of pain.

I love thongs.

But not when guys wear it!

Get it! Please i do not want to go through the pain of seeing a guy wearing thong again! Once is enough!

Just imagine an indian guy wearing thong! *shivers*

Man, i need a shrink.

-

Da Vin Ci code... WAS a BORE!

God.. I think i can practically fall asleep watchin it.

To those who still have not wath it. Try to wait for the dvd if you had read the book. The movie will bore you to bits.

-

I love work.

Or perhaps Work lovs me.

I feel a burnout comin.

Can't wait for wednesday.

OFF!

Thank god for GE2006.

2006-06-04T01:22:00.000+08:00

Well.. AGM was fine.

Kudos to Andy and Sue.. Good job peeps.

I guess i am still thinkin about hr stuff.. Coz the moment they said let's introduce the hr team.. I immediately looked up and had the refles to stand! Haha! I guess I'm still living in the past.

But oh well!

-

And oh yar!

Today was a good day.

Till the ending! then it sucked!

Wat a Nice way to cap a beautiful day. Literally.

Do note the sarcasm.

-

Somehow i always forget what i wanted to blog about.

I knew i had something. but when i get down to it. It's gone. Sigh!

Fickken.

2006-06-01T09:37:00.000+08:00

Okay. I dunno what happened.. But it seems all my previous posts has all changed to teeny winy smally itsy bitsy font sizes! FICKKEN!

Tricia wanted to read but she said her eyes pain!

SO.. JUST FOR HER.. I tried to changed it.. But it seems nothing happened..

On that note!

I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR HER!

BUT! She will always never help ME..WHENEVER I AM IN NEED! SHE WILL GIVE ME THAT HELPLESS FACE! EVEN WHEN I AM THE ONE THAT IS IN NEED OF HELP! Basket! An ingrate of a step daughter! But nevermind.. A parent will never abandon it's child.. No matter how stupid and ingrateful she is..

READ THAT GIRL!

LOL

-

Okay.. So exco meeting was a drag.

A third year into the council. Man.. I always told myself every year this will be my last.. But somehow I always get dragged back in.. Or perhaps it's a choice i had made.. But oh well.. It sucks lar..

And being a 3d year.. This IS my last year.. Haha

And being a senior inside there suck sock!

I may have made the wrong choice yet again.

2006-05-31T11:59:00.000+08:00

Ok.

So yesterday was... Nice..

Conclusion. Nothing suits choon wee..... Or is it vice versa. Dengs!

The reason. Try shopping for his bday present! Ahaks! Dengs!

So you see! Shafiq and i went to slack at starbucks after school. To talk.. as per usual. Ordered Banana Mocha Frap. Quite nice. Nothing special.

THEN we went to TRY and find stuff to buy for choon wee.. And boy was it hard! We were like.. " Eh that one nice....................................................................... But he doesn't suit it" LMAO!

Well..

That's how we came to a conclusion.

Choon Wee != Cool stuff.

Choon wee == <3>

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am such a bad boss!

-

Well..

On da vinci code...

Hmm.. Rather watch it alone!

I just a loner with a sexy attitude!

Ahaks!

-

Goodness gracious! Great Balls of fire!

2006-05-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

Well Well Well...

Life's full of surprises..

And ironies..

The irony part.. I like..

The surprises part.. Well let's just say.. Life's full of 'em..

And some.. Are bullshit.

:)

2006-05-29T11:38:00.000+08:00

I have begun to think our world is too prejudiced.

If i were to grow a long beard and talk more about Islam and stuff.. They say I'm an extremist.

Well there's lots more lar.. but just go to the link below! It's freaking funny how some of them would react!

GO GO GO!

A MUST WATCH!!

2006-05-29T11:24:00.000+08:00

Work yesterday was... Exciting.

It's exciting when you have a gay commenting and talking to you. The opening pick up line..?

"Hey..Long time never see you already ar.. Where you go..? Now tall and handsome ready ar.. That's a nice specs you've got there. It complements your face. And your face is very smooth ar..Yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada"

Funny isn't it.. And he goes on and on and on and on.. Asking how old i was.. where i am now and stuff.. LOL!

Cmon! DO I LOOK GAY! WTH! I have nothing against them.. But then when they start tryin to pick you up.. It's eerie lar!

And you have very nice and caring collegues who are laughing their asses off behind you! NABE!

I noticed the guy since the last time i worked there.. Never talked to him before.. In fact.. I dun even intend to talk to him.. And he chose now.. of all times to talk to me! Bloody hell! And a guest asked where is the gay bars or clubs.. WE just told him go to happy club.

And yea.. Lufthansa crews are either gays or lesbians.. There are only a few that are straights. Haha. Go figure.

2006-05-28T11:05:00.000+08:00

Ok.. So here's the snitch.. been so busy working that i had no time for any social life. But hey.. I need the money.. To pay back my mom and alex! Wahaha!

Had a good topic to blog about... but i forgot.. And i felt it was a good one too... Crap!

2006-05-25T16:18:00.000+08:00

:)

I love looking at photos!

They remind of who I am. Who I was. Friends. Memories.

It all started with me thinking of changing my display pic in msn. Then i saw all my previous display pics.

Shall post some later tonight! Since now i'm in the office!

-

Somehow.. I am so in love. Wahahaha! In love with what! I am so in love with PHOTOGRAPHY! I suddenly have the urge to buy a professional camera and learn how to use it! I wanna capture memories!! I am so gonna get one of those SLR cameras!!

Watch out world!

2006-05-24T16:43:00.000+08:00

Being the bored me... As usual decide to search the net for nice short stories to read or quotes too! And perhaps share them!

Aaaaand! I stumbled upon quotes which are from the show grey's anatomy!

So i just feel like pasting them here to share.. I can sort of relate to these stuff! I love quotes!

At some point you have to make a decision, boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know, if you're willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, the view from the other side, is spectacular.

I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of a guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don't know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.

The early bird catches the worm; a stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to ‘seize the day'. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.

And my personal favourite!

Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need. At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say because there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.

******************************

On a totally different note!

My shopping list is fast filling up!

Pay alex back
Get that adidas sweater
Dragonfly R/C Helicopter
A canon Eos SLR
A new cap. * Like what's new*
A new casing for my N70
A new skate shoe.
A 4 by 2 metal studs lotto boots.

More to come! LOL!

2006-05-23T16:56:00.000+08:00

I just have to say this.

Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy."

=)

2006-05-22T11:56:00.000+08:00

For the benefit of hasina!

Haha! I will be working at Orchard hotel! Opposite Orchard Parade Hotel! Near Hard Rock cafe! Near Devils Bar! Descriptive enough!

Haha!

I just love working at hotels! The people working there are cool! The guest are wayyy cool"er"! Except for perhaps the ones from india! No harm intended! But Really man! They are damn rude and have no basic respect! They treat us the bellboys like their slaves and thought that we are dumb with no education! Up their ass lar!

But the rest of the guest are cool! Love surfer dudes! They are super cool lar!

And the list goes on and on and on! Can't wait to finish poly... NS and then on to my dreams!

Join some airline as a steward! Waiter in the sky! X)X)X)

Always hear stories from my uncle and aunts! Wanna be like them! Weeets!

2006-05-19T09:16:00.000+08:00

=)))))))))))))))))))))

Euphoria!

Met my uncle yesterday! And he asked me whether I wanna come back to work with him!

Like HELL YEAH! Wahahahahaha!

I am totally missing that place and working there rawk socks lar!

Whhhooooooooppppppeeeeeeee!! And I was like goin around in msn yesterday telling people how happy i was! DENGS!

On a different note.. Today is a good day!

The morning.. As usual on the way to school was listening to my mp3 and i spaced out.. LIKE totally! I didn't know i was like sort of staring to a lady.. A very attractive lady in fact.. As you know.. I am like totally into ladies with power suits on. Haha.. So anyways.. She smiled at me.. And i was like HUH! Shit! But hey.. I smiled back! What a way to start a day! A smile can be sooooooo ... Hmmm.... Nice..? Haha! Singapore needs more people like her!

And yar! I am worth $1,771,390! Nabe! I so cheap meh! Kanasai!

2006-05-17T09:09:00.000+08:00

Okay!

This is it! I am super bored!

Just imagine! I've gone through like 487 friendster profile! Wahahahahahahahaha!

While waiting for naruto to be downloaded on youtube.. I went through every profile there is on friendster! Wahahaha!

God I LOVE NARUTO!

2006-05-16T10:27:00.000+08:00

Well.. I guess the previous post was just a random thought i had. And it escalated. =)

I guess after watching Naruto.. (You can say I'm a narutofreak now! Haha..) I see lotsa stuff.. Like how some friends.. Will always be there for you whether you like it or not.. Caring for your wellbeing even though you're on a path of self destruction. How solitude is a darkness that some people can never get out of. How the love of a family is important.

I daresay.. I have a happy family. Sure we have our fair share of problems.. But home is something not physical to me. Home is where I feel safe. Naruto didn't have a family. Sasuke did, but his family was killed by his own brother. I guess life likes that. Some people have a family.. But it seems the family is not a family at all. It only seems like strangers bonded by blood living under the same roof. There was a time when i used to believe in that same phrase. But as i grew up.. I understood. I have grown. To love my family.

I sometimes wonder how my life is. What it revolves around. Does it revolves around friends..? Revolves around chasing for superficiality..? I relised.. I do know what it is. And i shan't say.. I found my purpose. I found my principles. I found my guide. =)

I see lots of people exist. They exist. But they do not live. Living and existing are 2 different matters. When you live, you are remembered. When you exist, nothing will be left when you're gone. Not even a memory. You'll be forgotten. I am always heartened when everytime i reached home after like a few days of camp and my mom and dad would say that the house is so quiet if i'm gone.. Then they would say they like it that way.. But i know deep down.. They don't mean it.. =)

So my friends, Live. Live your life. Do not exist.

When I'm gone, Don't mourn.
Rejoice everytime you hear the sound of my voice.
And smile back.

2006-05-15T21:28:00.000+08:00

Now that i think about. Yea.

Have you ever thought of how sometimes even friendship can be a one-way street..? You know they always say, Give and expect nothing in return. C'MON! Which freakin moron would think that! Sometimes we would go to great lengths, but only to find out, we are not worth what we had given them. Sometimes what we need is just a little.. JUST a little respect.

I guess after watchin Naruto and stuff.. I relised how stupid a person could be when they think they had a friend they could trust in.. They believed in.. And only to be betrayed in the end. Like I said before... A one way friendship. This I mean when a person actually plays along to make the other person feels that they are BOTH friends... BUT It's not.

Some say friends can mean the world to a person. but I say.. Friends will never mean a world to a person. I do not believe in that no more. Too much hypocrisy. Too much bullshit.

I have seen alot. I have heard alot. Sometimes people think I do not know what they thought i Do not know. But I know. heh... I guess hypocrisy never escapes me. It's sad. But true.

Sometimes you think you have friends that you are so sure of.. You are so sure that they will always be there for you.. So sure that they will never dissappoint you. But as it turns out.. The only one standing by your side.. The last one standing.. Is the friend that you are unsure of. A friend free from prejudice and hypocrisy.

I have seen it. I know it.

Now I know who my friends are.

And It was a letdown to know that.

Too bad they don't know.

So I die happy.

-Peace-

2006-05-15T16:04:00.000+08:00

OMG!

On a random note, I am like super DUPER interested in The Dragonfly. You see it's an electric R/C Helicopter. I've always wanted one. Since I dunno when.. Then last friday.. I saw it.. The price was quite affordable.. $100 plus only.. Now i know what to get! Haha!

Apart from that, I also want that Adidas Jacket that me and trish saw! It's nice.. So my shopping list is made up!

1. Dragonfly R/C Helicopter.
2. adidas jacket @ Limited Etd

*************

On a lighter note, Life at my itp rawks socks! Damn slack but a very fun enviroment! Now my days revolves around episodes of naruto! Wahahaha!

Yoh!

2006-05-13T22:06:00.000+08:00

3-3.

That's the score for yesterdays' match. I thought i had sealed it with the 3rd goal! BUT NOOOOOOOOO!! Someone just had to score a freakish own goal at the very last second! ZAI! YOU ARE SO GONNA GET TORMENTED BY THIS! Wahahahaha! Overall it was a good match.. Our makeshift reserve team.. They did well.. I manage to keep my cool.. EVEN though they snap at my ankles at every given chance. Bloody fuckers! But oh well.. I manage to injure one of them.. It was nice. :)

Then went off to slack with the gls after that. And celebrated ziyi's birthday. :) It was a great day!

Oh.. Now i am like so addicted to Motion City Soundtrack. Thankew baby! Wahaha!

Let's get fucked up and Die!

I am still questioning my own decision. Why...? Should I have just waited and see it crumble..?

2006-05-08T09:37:00.000+08:00

=)

Monday blues! I am so god damn freakinglicious splendidly BORED! ITP bores!

Wahahahahaha!

Well.. Yesterday was fun! I mean retail therapy is always nice.. Even if you're not buying anything for yourself but for someone else! Wahahaha!

Was supposed to have my last comm outing... Meeting the rest after 3pm after me and trish went shopping.. But Choon wee suddenly came down sick an JEFF! JEFFF HAD TO GO OUT WITH SHIBBY! YOU JUST HAD TO GO OUT WITH HER RITE! LOL!

So it was left with me and trish the whole day! Watched MI:3! It rawks lar! Damn nice! Haha! "JONG KAI!" Can't stop disturbing trish lar! with her sacred techno PEPOH sound!

Met up with suzhen and jeff after the movie.. And more fun ensued.. =)

It was a good day.

I just love my comm lar! They rawk socks! HR/PR rawks! =)

You peeps know i will always be there for you aight. Right girl.. :)

*Warning.. Multiple post foreseen! Due to extreme boredom!

2006-05-06T00:20:00.000+08:00

Great!

Now i remembered that there was supposed to be my Basic Theory Test today!

I'm such a FUCKIN MORON!

2006-05-05T10:01:00.000+08:00

Being the bored me in the office.. I shall share...

Just how me and some people feel.. :)

To let go- By anonymous.
But greatly appreciated.

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring;
It means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off...
It's the realization that I can't control another...
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try and change or blame another,
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective,
It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.

Shall be back for more! Be prepared to see multiple posts today! Wahahahahaha!

2006-05-05T09:20:00.000+08:00

Sigh!

After reading sonia's blog it makes me miss Orchard Hotel. I mean technically I'm working... BUT.. It's sorta boring that everyday is almost the same thing! That is why i HATE office jobs! It makes me rot! LOL! I'd rather be out there interacting and talking to strangers and stuff! It's damn cool!

And the guys there are damn cool! Always looking out for me.. Telling dirty jokes.. Checking out the guests.. Haiz.. The list goes on and on and on.. But well.. I do visit them once in a while.. Just to see them.. =)

I think this is like the fourth time that i have been raving about how i miss working at Orchard Hotel! Haha!

But well.. Life's like that! I have mapped out what i wanna do in the future...Work in the service industry! I've been there.. Loved it.. And am sill loving it!

2006-05-04T23:41:00.000+08:00

I actually had a drafted post that i saved last monday.. But i just can't seem to find the perfect beginning and ending to it.. So till then just wait! LOL!

Well.. So since i have nothing to say.. I would just like to share a story i read somewhere..

"U CAN ALWAYS FIND A NEW PARTNER BUT NOT YOUR OWN PARENT"

Daughter-In-Law, "When I cooked food which are bland, you will grumble that they are tasteless. Now that I have cooked saltier, you complained that you can't swallow this at all! What exactly do you want?"

When the son came back, the mother immediately ate the food without a word. She stared at him. The son took a taste on his mother's food and spitted out immediately. He ranted at his wife, "Didn't I told you that my mother cannot take too salty food?!"
The wife shouted, "OK! She's your mum! You cook for her in future!" After saying that, she stormed into their room angrily.
Feeling helpless, the son told the mother, "Mum, don't eat this anymore. I will cook you a bowl of noodles".

The mother said, "Son, you have something to tell me?Don't keep everything to yourself." Son, "Mum, I am going to get promoted soon and my upcoming working schedule will be very, very tight...and as for my wife...ummm...she said she will be going out to work...."
The mother understood what he meant and said in a begging manner, "Son, please don't send me to the Old Folks' Home.."

The son remained silent and tried to think of a good reason to persuade her mother. Then he said, "There is nothing wrong with the Old Folks' Home. Once my wife had went out to work, no one will serve you as well as the Home which provides you meals and care. It woulddefinitely much better than being at home." The sonwent for a bath after that and went into the Study Room. He looked out from the windows and thought back and hesitated a while.... His mother has been remaining as a widow since she was young with him, and brought him up painstakingly, solely. She tried all means to earn as much as she could, in order to support him in studying overseas. Yet she expected nothing nor used her past painful experience to threaten his son to be filial. While now, his wife is threatening him with the stake of their marriage.
"Should I send my Mum to the Home?" He asked himself."The only person who will accompany you till the end of your life would be your wife.." said a friend before. "Your mother is in old age now, and if she's lucky, she might be able to live for a few more years longer. Why not be filial to her for this period of time? reminded by some relatives. He was stuck in a dilemma. He did not want to think anymore, in order not to affect his decision.

The son found a Home with high standards, built on a beautiful and transquil mountain top. He told himself that he would feel much better when the more he spent.When the son helped his mother into the lobby of the Home, the 42" TV was turned on. The programme shown on screen was a comedy. But no one was laughing. A few old folks, dressed similarly in clothing, were sitting there, in a daze. There was one who was sitting improperly on a sofa, there was one who was bending down to pick up a piece of biscuit from the floor, there was one who was talking to himself...

The son knew that his mother likes sunlight, so he chose a room with ample sun rays shining into the room. By viewing out from the room, was a big piece of greenery scene. Few nurses were wheeling some old folks out for some fresh air. It was so pathetic of silence in the background. The sun would still need to set down. Soon it was dusk. The son told the mother, "Mum, I am leaving." The mother waved to him to say goodbye, opening her toothless mouth. He turned back to look at his mother. She was full of grey hair and wrinkled skin with deep set eyes... He found that she was really old.

He remembered when he was six, due to some circumstances, his mother cannot bring him along with her thus temporarily placed him at a relative's home for few days. He recalled hugging his mother's thigh and begged her not to leave him alone. In the end, his mother never leave him alone and decide to stay with him. He stopped thinking and left. When he returned home, his wife and his mother-in-law were busy discarding things from his mother's room, happily. One of the discarded item was his tall trophy which he won as First Prize when he was young. He wrote an essay on "MY MOTHER". The second item discarded was a dictionary. That was the first gift from his mother, who scrimped and saved for a month in order to buy for him.
He shouted, "Enough! Stop discarding anymore!"

His mother-in-law cried, "There were so much rubbish.If don't discard, there would not be any place for my stuff.." His wife continued, "Yeah! Need to dump away that old, stinky bed of your mum too. We will buy a new bed for my mum later,"

He saw some pictures from the stack..they were taken at a zoo and amusement park when his mother brought him there. "These are precious belongings of my Mum!You can't discard them!"

"What sort of attitude is this? I demand you to apologise to my Mum NOW!" ranted the wife.
The husband said, "When I got married with you, that showed that I will love your Mum too. But why can't you do the same too?"

He went back to the Home and saw his mother weeping in between her frail legs. She was missing the moments when her son would apply ointment for her every night...
The son kneeled before her and said, "Mum, here I come. I brought the ointment too."
The mother said, "I will apply it myself, Son! You still need to work tomorrow. Go home, Son!"
Son said, "Mum, please forgive me! Let's go home!"

=)

2006-04-19T00:36:00.000+08:00

Sing what you can't say.

When you get caught in the rain
With nowhere to run
When you’re distraught and in pain
Without anyone

We keep prayin’ to saved
But nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can’t

Find your way home
You can get there alone
It’s okay
What you say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

Hoo...hoo...doo doo doo
Ooh...hoo...mmm...hmm...

And if you keep falling down
Don’t you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on

Step fastly
And you’ll find what you need
To prepare
What you say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And when the wind moves
And shadows grow close
Don’t be afraid
There’s nothing you can’t face

And sure they tell you
You’ll never pull through
Don’t hesitate
Stay calm and sane

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
Can stand up once again
And I live one more day
And I’ll make it through the rain

Ooh, yes, you can
Mmm...hmm...
You can make it through the rain

Through the rain - Mariah Carey.

Did you get scared standing alone in the crowd?
Did you give up when I was nowhere to be found?
Did you get tired of being left all alone?
Do you feel better now that you're on your own?

There's nothing without you.
The days once had are through.
I'm lost, broken, confused.
But I won't give up on you tonight.

All I see is your face now on everyone else.
And now I know how scared you were all by yourself.
When the phone rings, do you ever hope that it's me.
Do you ever dream of a day when we will still be.

There's nothing without you.
The days once had are thorough.
I'm lost, broken, confused.
But I won't give up on you tonight.

Tonight I'll lie here all alone.
Wondering what our future holds.
And if my life should fall apart would you still care?
Would you still care?

There's nothing without you.
The days once had are thorough.
I'm lost, broken, confused.
But I won't give up on you tonight.

I won't gove up on you.
I wont give up on you.
Tonight

Lost, Broken, Confused - Mest.

Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
Its like a throbbing tooth ache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a kiss goodnight and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling, that’s alright
Jimmy says it's better than air,
I’ll tell you why

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a kiss goodnight and everything will be alright,
Tell me that I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

Oh Novacaine

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming
Give me a kiss goodnight and everything will be alright,
Tell me Jimmy I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

Give me novocaine - Greenday.

2006-04-18T23:50:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since i've blogged. Guess the feelings weren't worth expressing no more. Know the cliched words "words can't describe how i feel", well it's like that ya'll.

FO camp passed with nothing much of fond memories. It is more of heartbreaking. Well, that's life as a private limited. It sucks.

Well, on the current situation, it sucks like hell. Draining not physically but mentally. Nothing much can be said. It's just sad. I've planned some stuff with much fan fare, but i guess now i've lost the passion to do it. I think I'll just give to them personally.Nothing much. I've just lost heart. After what i've heard, It's just sad.

It's just cruel to the eye.

2006-03-24T00:03:00.000+08:00

Dear god,

Why is it when a bad thing happens.. It's like a waterfall...? Can it trickle down...? Please...? I'm scared i might not be able to take the load.